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View Full Version : Lion King Sucks!


Sam
August 12th, 2008, 05:12 PM
I think enough people here have played this game to start a decent discussion about it.

This game made its way to "time-out" one day when I was playing in my 10-year old "let's get all the way to exile and die" routine. I started the game, and when I got to the second stage, things went downhill. The first obstacle of the stage is to jump on giraffes' heads, from one to the next, doing so quickly, as they tilt their head upwards to knock you off (you're essentially recreating the song and dance scene for "Can't Wait to Be King"). This, being the very beginning of the stage, is not all that difficult. The stage, later, consists of difficult timing sequences when you ride on the back of an ostrich (stay with me here) and ridiculous purple and blue monkey-tossing.

Anyways, for some reason, on this seemingly-normal day, I could not get passed theses giraffes. My jumps would only be slightly off, and I would see myself slide down the back of the giraffe and fall into the lake. This continued in nearly the exact same fashion until I was slapped in the face with a game over screen. I was so frustrated with the inconsistency of the game, I did the only thing a 10 year-old could do to make himself feel better about losing at a video game without breaking it. I threw it under the entertainment center; put it in "time-out". I have not played the game since.

Either way, with this one incident aside, the furthest I've ever managed to get was to the "Exile" stage. I would always get to this one part. A boulder would chase me, I believe it was the second time in the stage it happens. There was a formidable stretch of cave with a speeding boulder behind you. It got me every time. I was later told by many friends that this is the stage before adulthood, which is a shame that I freaked-out and put the game in "time-out" without truly experiencing it.

Kanji
August 12th, 2008, 05:22 PM
Hahaha, I think I remember the boulder stage too. Not quite as distinctly as the ostrich madness, but the memory is definitely there. Gotta pull this game out and play it later tonight, for old time's sake. Expect frustated posts come tomorrow morning.

Also, you got me thinking. What was with the TOUCH WATER AND YOU'RE DEAD shit? I can understand other things like getting rolled over by a giant spherical boulder, but jeez. Was Simba really a failure to the extent that he couldn't swim? Were the giraffes such monumental douchebags that wouldn't salvage the future king of the pridelands even though it would only take two seconds? Was the cheery retro synth incarnation of "I Just Can't Wait To Be King" for nothing?

Sam
August 12th, 2008, 05:26 PM
I think the falling into the water part is just epic humiliation for Simba. Who wants to fall into a lake while singing and dancing in front of their entire kingdom? I think the "Lives" parameter represents how many times you could fuck up your social life before you committed lion suicide.

And the "boulder" stage was called something with "Exile" in it. It's the stage where Scar fags-out and exiles you, or whatever. It was just after the second "Stampede" stage. Yeah, the stampede stage...it's fucking retarded; let's make two of them.

Iron Octopus
August 16th, 2008, 12:42 AM
Are we talking about the Gamegear Lion King? I fucking loathed that horse shit.

Mugen
September 8th, 2008, 06:18 AM
naw the genesis one bro. Lawl if you thought this was absurd then just wait until you play battle toads (if you ever do). The rat race was one of the most unrealisticly difficult sequences I've ever seen in a video game. evar.

Sam
September 8th, 2008, 10:44 AM
I've never played Battle Toad, but I used to love the boring repetitiveness that was Battle Toads & Double Dragon. Seriously, it was mind-numbingly awful as far as fighters go, but it was so fun to play as a child.

Seņor Nalguitas
September 8th, 2008, 07:50 PM
OMFG!
that'll be a first one, one game that I've never played, however with all this discussion it dosen't make me want to play it.